Friday, July 4, 2008


My prayers have been answered...Jesse Helms has been called home to Jesus.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall at that reunion.

Christ speaking with barely restrained frustration to Jesse: "Okay, let's go over the message of love and acceptance, just one more time, because I'm still confused as to how you got it so wrong."

Jesse delivers longwinded, rambling diatribe about evil penises and queers.

"That's it, Jesse, I'm just about as forgiving as they come, but you're going to have to sit on the Fire and Damnation Bus next to Kenneth Lay." Turning to the next person in line. "George! Good to see you, come on in! You kill me! 'There's an invisible man in the sky'...whew, that's a good one…No, seriously, Jesse, get back on the the hand basket."

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